How to Write Wedding Vows [Engagement & Wedding Tips, Ideas & Guides]

It is your wedding, so make it your own. You are probably hunting for every book, articles, and tips you can find to make your wedding as personal and unique as possible. The best and more memorable way to do is to create your own wedding vows.

Traditionally, the bride and groom have little say in what goes into the words spoken during the wedding ceremony. Today, wedding officiants even encourage couples to say their own wedding vows during the ceremony. It reduces the mechanics and strays away from the “wedding ceremony formula” we have been too acquainted with. Heck, if you attended ten wedding already, you are likely to be able to recite the “standard vows” the bride and the groom say to each other.


So, if you want to make your wedding vows unique and personal, you can incorporate your feelings and intimate messages into your wedding vows. It creates an added effect in making your wedding more memorable. Here are five tips to help you create a wedding vow that could make your wedding memorable for you and your guests.

1. Discuss with the Wedding Officiant

If you are planning to personalize your wedding vows, you need to notify your Wedding Officiant first. You will need to find out the legalities, guidelines, and rules in drafting your wedding vows. In fact, by discussing with your Wedding Officiant ahead of time, you can get additional pointers, advice, and examples to help you in writing your vows. The Officiant will also inform you of the important information that needs to be included in your vows.

2. Choosing Your Topic

As in any other writing or speeches you make, you need to establish a topic before you start drafting. Some may disagree with me, but by choosing a topic early on will help you stay focused on your wedding vows. One thing you must never neglect to include in your vow is your promise to your spouse to be. Then you can add some special messages, hopes, and dreams that the two of you may have talked about before you decided you wanted to get married to each other.

One thing to keep in mind when writing your wedding vow is KISS – Keep It Short and Sweet. When pouring your heart out, you tend to get so emotional that it is difficult to cut it short. Try to put yourself in your guest's shoes. When listening to a very long winded speech, you (as the attendee) will start to wander off. So, if possible, keep your wedding vows, short, concise, and meaningful.

3. Make your Wedding Vows Official

After you finished the first draft of your wedding vows, arrange a meeting with your Wedding Officiant again. Show your vows for review and additional advice. Your Officiant’s experience will help you greatly in getting the best out of writing your own wedding vows. Of course, you will get the last word on what goes into your wedding vows but it does not hurt to ask for an opinion.

 

4. Practice makes Perfect

As you would when you prepare for the speech you wrote for a meeting, you practice, practice, and practice. You know it, practice makes your delivery perfect. Even if you plan to read your wedding vows during the ceremony, I highly recommend you practice. You need to get comfortable saying your vows aloud so that you would not sound clumsy when you read it during your wedding ceremony. Just remember the rule of thumb, KISS. Lengthy speeches are less likely to make an impact and therefore will be less remembered. So, time yourself as you practice. If reading your vows will take longer than five minutes, try to narrow it down and focus on the more important part of your wedding vow.

5. Delivering Your Wedding Vows

I know that this is hard to do, but it is important to keep calm when you are reciting your wedding vows during the wedding. If you are tense, you are likely going to speak too fast that your vow will lose the wedding attendants’ attention. Read your vow if you must, but it is best if wedding vow is delivered extemporaneously. Just like how your Speech or Communication professor used to tell you. But, do what you are comfortable the most. If you are comfortable with memorizing a speech, then memorize your vow.

I hope that this article helped you plan a memorable and unique wedding. Good luck with your wedding and may your wedding vows remain your guide to a happy and fruitful relationship.